tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-806666408556776887.post5462926160952792228..comments2009-05-11T17:58:29.139-07:00Comments on The Visitors by Terry C. Horton: The Visitors By: Terence C. Hortonholonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689434734454790650noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-806666408556776887.post-77635470787231647872009-05-11T17:58:00.000-07:002009-05-11T17:58:00.000-07:00Hey Kelly,
thank you for the advice, I will advi...Hey Kelly, <br /><br />thank you for the advice, I will advice the writer(Terry Horton) and tell him to make corrections, I will have it corrected sometime tomorrow. <br />Respectfully,<br />William.holonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16689434734454790650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-806666408556776887.post-85338381653648344452009-05-11T12:03:00.000-07:002009-05-11T12:03:00.000-07:00Hi,
I would highly suggest that you format the po...Hi,<br /><br />I would highly suggest that you format the post with spaces between the paragraphs to make it a bit easier to read.<br /><br />In a more creative context, I do like the story very much, however there are a couple things you could do to improve it. This is kinda minor, but I would revise the ending and lean a little more toward the self realization rather than having the wife/mother explain everything to the protag about the park and memory loss. To me it would be more in keeping with the overall style of the story and would flow a little better. Also, to me it just seems to be a bit of a contradiction that she "wants him any way she can get him," yet she drops him off at the park and leaves him there by himself. I would think she would want to spend time with him during the one segment of time he actually remembers. It doesn't necessarily need to be changed, but I would find some way to explain her need to leave.Kelly W. Pattersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02833478610016521091noreply@blogger.com